Tuesday, March 18, 2008


I was doing so well!!!! And then I had to open the freezer. . . . Girlscout Cookies!!!! And not just ANY Girlscout Cookies. . . . Thin Mints!! And they're frozen!!!! Isn't that the only way these should ever be consumed? Holy Hell, there goes my "good eating." I've already devoured half a row & I see no end in sight. I'm trying to fend them off. . .but my defenses are low & my hand just keeps reaching over for another & another & another. OMG! I am going to die!
And so I start my little techniques to try to consume less. I take a small bite off the edge of one & set it down. . .take another small bite & put it down. . . WHO AM I TRYING TO KID, PEOPLE???? This is a full blown, highly vicious, cunningly calculated conspiracy. How can I compete with such dastardly design??? (By the way, I have no idea if dastardly actually fits there. . .just sounded good with the "d" sounds.) Oh crap, another thin mint is in my mouth! I'm so WEAK!!!! Somebody save me!!! All of the Wii boxing in the world isn't going to counteract this tomorrow.

And I happened to see a box of those coconut & chocolate cookies. . .I always forget the name now that they've changed it. I think they were Samoas at one time or another. Why did they change it? I don't get it. Again, it's another conspiracy I'm sure of it. But whatever the heck they're called, I'm thinking I might have to try one. . .or two. . Hell, I may as well just eat them all in one sitting. It would be saving the kids from eating them & me from the aftermath of them eating them. . .which is pure agony in & of itself. They go nuts. So if I eat them all right now I might be able to fall asleep fast from the sugar low that follows the probable sugar high (thus leading to a catastrophic collection of fat on my lower regions.. . wish it would collect in the breast tissue only. . .but that isn't my situation!)

It's 10 PM. . .WHAT THE HECK!? Of course the coffee I drank at 4 PM is still working. How is it that at 7 AM I can drink all the coffee in the world & still feel tired? (Nevermind the incessant shaking & heart palpitations & oh, the nonstop urination that occurs secondary to such actions.) But at 4 PM I can drink one blasted cup of diluted coffee & at 10 PM (when the 6 hour half life is OVER!) I still feel wide awake & perky? Of course, DH is able to fall asleep 5 minutes after drinking full strength, thick as molassas, Starbucks. Then again, don't most husbands fall asleep within 5 minutes of most things?? Tee hee, just kidding:) But then again, NOT!
Now to find those other cookies. . . there is still half a row left of the Thin Mints. . .I mean 1 and a half rows!

Yeah, still Samoas. But unless I want to work on breaking another tooth I should use caution with eating these babies frozen. (broken tooth? Yeah, broke a tooth on a frozen cookie at work when I was first working there. Duh, thaw it out first!)

Good! Only ate one of those. Now I had better get my butt ready for bed so I can take advantage of my insulin dump. I need to STEP AWAY FROM THE GIRLSCOUT COOKIES!!!!

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